


Until the Stars Burn Out

by Im_trash_bye



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, So..., and it doesn't go away, anyways Gilmore Girls style, like a lot, sorry - Freeform, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 02:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18306683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_trash_bye/pseuds/Im_trash_bye
Summary: When Cyrus gets yet another phone call from one TJ Kippen, he decides the silence is over.





	Until the Stars Burn Out

Cyrus sat up against his pillows, clumsily pushing his glasses onto his face as he fumbled for his incessantly ringing phone. The screen shone brightly, TJ’s name written across it. A glance at the clock told him it was 3:29 in the morning. With a deep breath and his shoulders steeled, he answered the call.

“TJ?” he asked, voice hoarse with sleep and tense with anger. The line stayed silent, forcing a loud sigh from Cyrus. “TJ, I know it’s you. I have your contact saved, and I know you’ve been calling and not saying anything because you’re a goddamn coward.”

TJ’s breathing was the only indicator that he was still on the line.

“Alright, then. You’re not going to talk, so I am. You know, when I first met you, I was  _ terrified _ that you were just going to hurt me. I guess I was right, but for some reason, you made me ignore my gut. You made me doubt Buffy, and you made me doubt  _ myself _ , TJ. And then you went and did the one thing I was afraid of. For all of the things you were to me, you were also the one person who always knew how to make me feel like I was enough. With Andi and Buffy and Jonah, I  _ always  _ knew I was just a side character. I was supposed to help them with whatever they needed. If Andi wanted Jonah, I’d step back so she could have him. If Buffy wanted me to hate you, I would. That was the unspoken agreement. But then you got me that  _ stupid _ muffin.”

_ Cyrus looked up at the boy in front of him. Was this the guy who’d been bullying his best friend? Why didn’t he look the part?  _

Focus, Cyrus. You’re supposed to hate him.  _ He braced himself for the boy to say something to him, but when he did… When he did, it wasn’t entirely awful. It was teasing, yes. It was a little bit terrifying, yes. But his words weren’t laced with the malice he’d assumed they’d be. In fact, he was kind of...nice?  _ Stop, Cyrus.

_ He’d never wanted anything more than he wanted to hate TJ Kippen in that moment. But he never quite got around to it. _

“You know, I was so sure you were a bad person. Because I trusted Buffy’s word. Because I trusted Buffy. And then you weren’t.” Tears stung at Cyrus’s eyes, and he checked to make sure TJ was still listening. Sure enough, there was his heavy breathing, sure and steady. “I remember crying about you to my parents, you know. You didn’t deserve it, and I know that now, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know what to do.”

_ Cyrus wiped the heels of his palms over his eyes. Tears fell no matter how many times he pushed them away. His mom sat down on the foot of his bed, reaching forward to take his hands. _

_ “Hey, kiddo. What’s going on?” _

_ “I don’t know what to do,” he whimpered. “It’s either I let Buffy  _ hate _ me, or I hate someone who I don’t even know deserves it.” _

_ “What’s going on, kid?”  _

_ “Buffy told me about some guy on the basketball team- the captain, I guess. He’s been bullying her since she joined. I just kind of...accepted it as fact that he was a bad person. But now I  _ know _ him. And it’s like- like I don’t get how this works anymore. He’s not just black and white anymore. He’s like this...Mess of gray and colors I didn’t even know existed.” _

_ “Do you know why he was awful to Buffy?” _

_ “No! That’s the worst part! Buffy thinks he’s some misogynistic jock, but I think he was just scared. He was worried she’d be better than him, so he took it out on her.” _

_ “And you’re sure that’s the reason?” Cyrus nodded somberly. _

_ “I’m not positive, but yes. It’s the only thing that makes sense. His twin sister would have kicked his ass otherwise.” Leslie smiled slightly at his language, raising an amused eyebrow. _

_ “...Okay then. I think you’ve already made your decision Cyrus. You don’t want to lose either one of them, do you?” _

_ “No?” _

_ “Then find a way to keep them both.” _

“You know, I almost thought you were worth losing Buffy over. I can’t believe I almost let you trick me. And then you had the fucking  _ audacity _ to put me in danger with the gun? You didn’t even care that someone could have gotten hurt- or  _ worse. _ You just flashed those stupid puppy dog eyes and told me you were ‘sorry’. You act like the things you do don’t hurt people, but they do, TJ.”

_ The look in TJ’s eyes when Cyrus tried to get him to leave with him hurt like nothing he’d ever felt in the world. Walking away from him in that moment nearly hurt even more, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. _

It’s for TJ,  _ he thought.  _ Someone’s going to get hurt if I don’t leave.

_ He had to leave, no matter what he wanted to do. It was what was right. He could apologize all he wanted later, but for now… He had to leave. _

“That was one of the hardest things I have ever done, TJ Kippen. And then I just up and forgave you. You really made me believe you were worth forgiving over and over again. And now this? You humiliated me, and for what? To be with Kira? I can handle you choosing her, Teej, but you didn’t say a  _ word.  _ And then you looked at me like you regretted it. And you know what? I almost believed you. You ruined everything like you always do, and I almost forgave you. Like I  _ always _ do. I want you to know that all that? It’s over, TJ.”

TJ’s breathing on the line trembled in the same way that Cyrus’s did. 

“God, TJ. How  _ could _ you? Actually, it doesn’t matter. If I took the time to ask what the fuck you were thinking every time you hurt me, I’d never stop. One thing would bleed into the next, and none of this would ever end. So I am done asking questions. I think… I think I was in love with you. I thought I would be in love with you no matter what. Always and forever. To the moon and back. Until every star in the sky burns out. But I guess I have to get over that. You know, maybe I still love you. But I have to let it go.”

“Cyrus wait-” TJ protested. “Please, just- hear me out. Please, Cyr-”

“I love you, TJ. But it’s time to say goodbye.”


End file.
